Being sick sucks. It takes its toll on your body as well as your quality of life. Chronic diseases like cancer are particularly destructive. When you’re ill for a prolonged period, there is a tendency to avoid socialising and going out. You find yourself neglecting your appearance as the sickness dominates your life. When your body is being ravaged by illness, what’s the point of bothering with skincare, make-up or clothes, right?

A pastor from my church once advised me not to allow cancer to monopolise my every waking moment. If I did, it would consume me. I would become whatever I fed my mind and spirit with. He advised me to cast my cares – including the disease – on Jesus, and get on with my life. I should try to live and enjoy life as normally as possible.

Interestingly, the National Cancer Centre runs a beauty workshop for women who have or are recovering from cancer. The programme is aptly called “Look Good, Feel Better” and the logic behind it is simple: if you think you look good, you’ll feel better. It’s a form of cancer therapy. Beauty advisors volunteer their time and expertise to show participants how to look after their skin and how to apply and remove make-up. Participants are even taught how to pluck their eyebrows, match colors and how to use scarves and headgear in stylish ways to disguise any hair-loss from chemotherapy.

I saw the program in action for myself a couple of weeks ago. The youngest participant was 32 years old while the oldest was close to 80. The former had been told that she had terminal stage 4 cancer. To top it off, her husband was divorcing her. When she arrived at the workshop, she was quiet and withdrawn. She was obviously embarrassed by her appearance, as she had lost most of her hair, and was bloated and pigmented from the cancer treatment.

It was unanimous. Everyone decided that this dear lady would be our ‘model’. As the beauty advisor helped her apply her make-up, we complimented her on her beautiful skin. A slight smile lifted the corners of her mouth. Then, when another beauty advisor tied scarves in different ways on her head, or tried out a jaunty hat on her, we teased her about how pretty or how cute she looked. That brought a big smile to her face. Her demeanour changed and she positively glowed.

If only for a while, that young lady’s confidence went up several notches. Hopefully, she has not lost interest in her new-found beauty routine. It was so good to see her smile. Doctors don’t know everything. If she keeps her spirits up, she may very well defeat the monster in her body. I’m praying for her.

When my niece, Candice, visited me from out of town recently, the sweetheart plucked my eyebrows for me. She had been wanting to do this for more than a year. I must admit that I have not been making much of an effort with my appearance. That’s got to change.

Oh yes, while looking good is a great idea, remember to protect yourself from carcinogens and other harmful ingredients. Many brands of skincare, cosmetics and other beauty products often contain these harmful ingredients. Pamper yourself with safe personal care products with no questionable ingredients, like those from Neways.

Posted: December 9th, 2009 under Alternative Remedies, Cancer, Healthy Spirit.
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Kite flying artwork by Mui-Joo Wee

November 27. That was just a couple of days back. On that same day one year ago, a lovely young lady in her mid-twenties was ruthlessly shot in the head in her hotel in Mumbai, India, the victim of a terrorist attack. Hwei Yen was a new bride, married for just a few months. A young lawyer, she had been sent to Mumbai by her law firm to make a presentation.

As I gazed at her photos in the memorial messages published in the obituary section of the newspaper, and read the heart-rending message penned by her prematurely-widowed husband, sadness swept over me, Hwei Yen’s pretty, smiling face reminded me of my niece, who’s also a lawyer around the same age. So much life, so much potential – it can all be extinguished in just a few moments.

Facing death puts a lot of things in perspective. It forces you to re-evaluate your priorities in life. Since I was diagnosed with cancer, I cherish the people I love, and who love me in return, much, much more. I tell them frequently how much I appreciate them and love them. I try to speak words of life to them, rather than words which hurt and destroy. I value the time spent with the people who matter most to me in all the world. I hug often. I make sure the people who have shown me kindness know how thankful I am. I count my blessings.

All too often, we wait until it’s too late to tell someone how much we love them. We waste our time and energy filling our lives with unimportant things, while we neglect the ones who really count. Then, one day, they’re gone, and we’re left with regret.

There are people I love to bits, and I want them to know this while we have our days to enjoy together. As for those I’m not exactly wild about, and who aren’t crazy about me either, I hope we’ll have a better relationship. Life is really too short to waste on fighting.

There are things I always wanted to do, but never got around to doing. I always felt there was plenty of time. Then the years went by, and some windows of opportunity closed.

There’s no point looking back. We have today, filled with all its promise and hope. Let’s make the most of it. My dear hubby, Andrew, bought a kite more than a year ago, and he has yet to fly it. We’ve been bogged down by so many things. It’s been very windy and cool lately. I think we should go kite-flying this week.

Posted: November 30th, 2009 under Healthy Spirit.
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My cousin Queenie just sent this to me. It’s a good reminder for all of us to focus on the positive things in our lives, rather than the negative. After all, a joyful heart is good medicine, bringing healing.

I AM THANKFUL:
FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT’S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED .

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME .

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE..

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

Posted: September 25th, 2009 under Healthy Spirit.
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