As someone who was diagnosed with estrogen-receptor positive breast cancer, keeping fit and trim may make all the difference in keeping cancer at bay. Besides the ovaries, estrogen is produced in other places, such as the fat cells, so losing weight has been a priority for me. So far, taking a realistic and steady approach, I’ve been losing a kilogram per month. Just three more kilograms to lose, and I’ll be back to what I weighed on my wedding day, pretty much my ideal weight. By following a daily program of walks and salads for either lunch or dinner, I actually lost weight during the December festive season, in spite of enjoying festive treats. My pants have become so baggy that I’ve started to give them away and I’ve had to buy new pants. What a great feeling!

The other positive and productive thing I try to do is take advantage of every beautiful day that comes along. The weather has been so cool and breezy lately that I venture outdoors as often as I can. Glorious nature and fresh air nourishes both my body and spirit every time. Some new cafes and restaurants have just opened up by the river just 20 minutes walk from my end of the river, and they’re perfect for chilling out at, while watching the sun set over the water. Absolutely delectable.

Then I try to spend more time with people who matter to me. Like my mom, for instance. She has dementia and she quickly forgets every visit I pay to her. But she’s happy when I’m there, so I’m glad about that. I try to have more conversations with my sister who lives overseas, so that she’ll know how much I love her and appreciate her. I try to cultivate a good relationship with my in-laws too, such as by remembering them in little ways. I tell my dear husband every day that I love him, and we spend lots of quality time together. We make time for fun, because joy is such a tonic.  Building bridges makes life richer and makes you stronger. When the dark days come, these relationships will sustain you.

It’s a brand new year. A clean slate, filled with opportunity. Forget the past, it’s time to look forward and make the most of every day. I know there’s lots more I can do to make my life better, healthier and happier. What about you?

When you think about it, those who have someone to love them and care for them are truly blessed, even though they may not seem to have much by way of material things. I don’t know how I could have survived the darkest hours of cancer had my dear husband not been there for me every step of the way. He’s the reason I live today.

My wish for the new year is that my hubby will be blessed from the crown of his head to the soles of his feet. May every desire of his heart be granted to him, and may joy overflow in him. When the person you love is blessed, you will enjoy the spillover too.

May you all have more than enough love to carry you through 2011!

My life has become so dependant on my computer, the internet and other technological aspects of modern living that I often long for a much simpler life. Wouldn’t it be nice to not have to care about checking emails, or writing reports and articles, or even responding to the cellphone for that matter? We’d probably also be much healthier without constant exposure to radiation and other hazards from computers, mobile phones, microwave ovens, television and various urban devices.  My eyesight would probably improve if I spend less time staring at a computer or TV screen and more time gazing at some distant view.

I’ve been trying to simplify my life and get back to basics. Instead of spending hours glued to the computer or the TV – like many modern humans – I try to get out more for long walks and fresh air. Rather than rely on convenience foods or eating out, I take my time to prepare fresh food from scratch. For the past three months, for instance, lunch has been a large, fresh, green salad with home-made dressing. The result? I’ve lost some weight and I’m hardly ever sick these days. I used to get coughs and colds frequently.

When life was simpler and before personal computers became commonplace, people used to actually write letters and send real Christmas cards. When was the last time you wrote or received a hand-written letter or card? Emails and e-cards may be convenient, but don’t you think they’re rather soul-less?

Getting back to basics is good for the body, mind and spirit. Billy, my cat, is sitting behind my computer monitor, swiping at my hands as I type on the keyboard. He wants me to know that he’s lonely and he wants me to play with him. Time for me to turn off this computer, spend some quality time with Billy and  then take my dog Ginger out for a nice, long walk.

This feline is such a character. He likes to knead his paws on my tummy (ouch!) and he loves to get under the covers with me. When I take out the ironing board, he leaps on it before I can start ironing because, for some reason, he thinks it’s a place for massage and I’m his personal masseuse. So I have to massage him before he’ll get off, leaving fine kitty fur all over the board.

Billy also enjoys ambushing Ginger, my sweet-natured doggy who found him when he was barely a month old. You should see him lying in wait, flicking his tail and wriggling his posterior as he gets ready to pounce on poor unsuspecting Ginger. Ginger puts up with Billy. She thinks that he’s always trying to steal her food, which is really hilarious as she’s 10 times bigger than Billy is, and her kibble is more than Billy can manage. She probably thinks that way because she’s stolen Billy’s food many times. Those two furballs are a riot and they provide me with endless hours of amusement, companionship and love.

Keeping a pet is good for your health. Their therapeutic powers range from helping to keep the blood pressure in check (unless they poop on the carpet, of course), providing comfort during depression and improving physical fitness levels. Pets, even cranky ones like Billy, are natural mood enhancers. They always look up to you – except maybe for cats who can be snotty – and make you feel good.

Generally, spending time with your pets will reduce your levels of cortisol, the hormone associated with stress. Serotonin levels (a chemical associated with well-being) rise. Too much stress is harmful while rest is healing. It’s elementary.

Having a dog who needs to be walked twice a day forces you to get some exercise, a good thing for urban-living sedentary types. If your pooch is anything like Ginger, who has a mind of her own and is constantly in a tug-of-war with me, you’ll also benefit from weight bearing activity which strengthens your muscles and bones. Walking your dog is a healthy and inexpensive way of preventing osteoporosis.

For some great true stories about cats and dogs who helped their guardians through breast cancer treatment, check out:

The true story of kitty-cat Luke and her guardian Karen who had Stage III triple negative breast cancer
AND
The true story of Great Dane Kenya and her guardian “lifegoeson” who had Stage IV breast cancer

If you don’t have a pet, why not adopt one from the animal shelter? You’ll be saving more than just the animal’s life – you could be saving YOURS as well.

Recently, in a series of studies, scientists found that when people leave their concrete surroundings to spend a few hours in a more natural environment – forests, parks and places with plenty of trees – they experience increased immune system function.

Several factors play a part. One is stress reduction. The other appears to be airborne chemicals called phytoncides which plants emit to protect themselves against rotting and insects. A study found an increase in white blood cells, which lasted a week, in women exposed to phytoncides in forest air. A 2007 study showed that men who took two-hour walks in a forest over two days had a 50% spike in levels of white blood cells.

A study published in January this year included data on 280 healthy people in Japan. On one day, some people walked through the city for a few hours while another group of people walked through the forest. On the second day, they traded places. Scientists found that being among plants produced “lower concentration of cortisol, lower pulse rate, and lower blood pressure”.

Various studies have shown that visiting parks and forests seem to raise levels of white blood cells, which help to fight infection. Interestingly, in Japan which has one of the world’s highest life expectancy, its people enjoy visiting nature parks for its therapeutic effects. This practice is called “Shinrin-yoku”, which means forest bathing.

Think about it, people who live in rural areas and walk everywhere are known to have lower incidences of diseases like cancer, diabetes and cardiovascular problems. Ultimately, the best way to stay healthy and well is to have a strong immune system which functions properly. Medicine can only do so much. Time for me to go forest bathing.

A team led by Professor Ernest Abel of Wayne State University in Michigan studied 230 photographs of United States major league baseball players who started playing before 1950 and grouped them by their smiles, as follows:

No Smile
Players who looked deadpan at thee camera

Partial Smile
Only the muscles round the mouth were involved in their grin

Full Smile
Both mouth and eyes were smiling and cheeks were raised

The players’ photographs were taken from the 1952 Baseball Register, a listing of professional baseball players that is packed with statistics such as year of birth, body mass index, marital status and career length, which reflects physical fitness.

As of June 1 2009, of the players who had passed away, those in the “No Smile” category lived for an average of 72.9 years. Those in the “Partial Smile” category died at age 75, while the “Full Smile” players lived up to 79.9 years. The study concluded that:

“To the extent that smile intensity reflects an underlying emotional disposition, the results of this study are congruent with those of other studies demonstrating that emotions have an positive relationship with mental health, physical health and longevity”.

All you sour pusses who go through life with a dark cloud perpetually hanging over you, BE WARNED! Lighten up, give thanks for the blessings in your life, live to be a blessing to others. Laugh and love much. Stop being a grouch. Brush off the chip on your shoulder. Get away from people, places and other elements which have a negative effect on you. Feed your mind, body and spirit with good things which will nourish you, not poison you. Live well, and leave behind happy memories. Decide today to really LIVE!

When I was younger, I never gave much thought to how I lived my days. I had my whole life ahead of me, so I just let the years pass. When you think about it, every day of life is actually incredibly precious, so we should invest them wisely. If we fritter them away, they are wasted – gone forever. If we spend them on things that really matter, like family, health, a strong, spiritual foundation, and building good experiences and memories, we will be on solid ground when the storms come. And they will come.

A relative in Britain sent me a poem written by a terminally-ill young girl. When she wrote it, she knew she would never make it to the prom, graduate from high school, get married or have a family of her own. She wanted to remind everyone to live life to the fullest, because she never will. Here’s what she wrote:

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down
Don’t dance so fast
Time is short
The music won’t last
Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask “How are you?”
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You’d better slow down
Don’t dance so fast
Time is short
The music won’t last
Ever told your child
“We’ll do it tomorrow”
And in your haste
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch
Let a good friendship die
‘Cause you never had time
To call and say “Hi”?
You’d better slow down
Don’t dance so fast
Time is short
The music won’t last
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there
When you worry and hurry through your day
It’s like an unopened gift
Thrown away.
Life is not a race
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

Last night, I watched a video starring Richard Gere about a middle-aged man who decided to take dance lessons because he wanted to bring some joy into his humdrum life. Dancing made him happy. Sharing his new-found passion with his wife also made their marriage richer. Joy has been proven to add quality and quantity to life. My family and some relatives were at the kite festival yesterday, enjoying the spectacle of the sky filled with beautiful kites, and flying our own kites. At one point, my cousin turned to me beaming as we flew our kites side by side, commenting that kite-flying was such a relaxing, happy experience. It’s the last day of the kite festival today. Guess where I’m off to next?

Getting the kite up into the sky wasn’t easy, but how we laughed at each other’s antics as we tried. When the kite finally soared up into the sky, it was a wonderful feeling. There’s just something so liberating about kite-flying. Sheer delight wells up within you as the kite climbs higher. For a while, you’re a child again, carefree and happy.

We enjoyed the cool breeze and fresh air while we were out kite-flying. It was so relaxing and therapeutic to feel the wind blowing through our hair and caressing our skin. We were even blessed to see a rainbow in the sky. To think we would have missed all that had we stayed indoors. We had a good time together. It was particularly rewarding to see our little nephew laugh, and his mom smile.

Kite-flying is good medicine for the spirit as well as the body. A regular dose of kite-flying should be what the doctor ordered. There’s a kite festival on next Sunday near my home. Like to come along with me?

A pastor from my church once advised me not to allow cancer to monopolise my every waking moment. If I did, it would consume me. I would become whatever I fed my mind and spirit with. He advised me to cast my cares – including the disease – on Jesus, and get on with my life. I should try to live and enjoy life as normally as possible.

Interestingly, the National Cancer Centre runs a beauty workshop for women who have or are recovering from cancer. The programme is aptly called “Look Good, Feel Better” and the logic behind it is simple: if you think you look good, you’ll feel better. It’s a form of cancer therapy. Beauty advisors volunteer their time and expertise to show participants how to look after their skin and how to apply and remove make-up. Participants are even taught how to pluck their eyebrows, match colors and how to use scarves and headgear in stylish ways to disguise any hair-loss from chemotherapy.

I saw the program in action for myself a couple of weeks ago. The youngest participant was 32 years old while the oldest was close to 80. The former had been told that she had terminal stage 4 cancer. To top it off, her husband was divorcing her. When she arrived at the workshop, she was quiet and withdrawn. She was obviously embarrassed by her appearance, as she had lost most of her hair, and was bloated and pigmented from the cancer treatment.

It was unanimous. Everyone decided that this dear lady would be our ‘model’. As the beauty advisor helped her apply her make-up, we complimented her on her beautiful skin. A slight smile lifted the corners of her mouth. Then, when another beauty advisor tied scarves in different ways on her head, or tried out a jaunty hat on her, we teased her about how pretty or how cute she looked. That brought a big smile to her face. Her demeanour changed and she positively glowed.

If only for a while, that young lady’s confidence went up several notches. Hopefully, she has not lost interest in her new-found beauty routine. It was so good to see her smile. Doctors don’t know everything. If she keeps her spirits up, she may very well defeat the monster in her body. I’m praying for her.

When my niece, Candice, visited me from out of town recently, the sweetheart plucked my eyebrows for me. She had been wanting to do this for more than a year. I must admit that I have not been making much of an effort with my appearance. That’s got to change.

Oh yes, while looking good is a great idea, remember to protect yourself from carcinogens and other harmful ingredients. Many brands of skincare, cosmetics and other beauty products often contain these harmful ingredients. Pamper yourself with safe personal care products with no questionable ingredients, like those from Neways.

Kite flying artwork by Mui-Joo Wee

November 27. That was just a couple of days back. On that same day one year ago, a lovely young lady in her mid-twenties was ruthlessly shot in the head in her hotel in Mumbai, India, the victim of a terrorist attack. Hwei Yen was a new bride, married for just a few months. A young lawyer, she had been sent to Mumbai by her law firm to make a presentation.

As I gazed at her photos in the memorial messages published in the obituary section of the newspaper, and read the heart-rending message penned by her prematurely-widowed husband, sadness swept over me, Hwei Yen’s pretty, smiling face reminded me of my niece, who’s also a lawyer around the same age. So much life, so much potential – it can all be extinguished in just a few moments.

Facing death puts a lot of things in perspective. It forces you to re-evaluate your priorities in life. Since I was diagnosed with cancer, I cherish the people I love, and who love me in return, much, much more. I tell them frequently how much I appreciate them and love them. I try to speak words of life to them, rather than words which hurt and destroy. I value the time spent with the people who matter most to me in all the world. I hug often. I make sure the people who have shown me kindness know how thankful I am. I count my blessings.

All too often, we wait until it’s too late to tell someone how much we love them. We waste our time and energy filling our lives with unimportant things, while we neglect the ones who really count. Then, one day, they’re gone, and we’re left with regret.

There are people I love to bits, and I want them to know this while we have our days to enjoy together. As for those I’m not exactly wild about, and who aren’t crazy about me either, I hope we’ll have a better relationship. Life is really too short to waste on fighting.

There are things I always wanted to do, but never got around to doing. I always felt there was plenty of time. Then the years went by, and some windows of opportunity closed.

There’s no point looking back. We have today, filled with all its promise and hope. Let’s make the most of it. My dear hubby, Andrew, bought a kite more than a year ago, and he has yet to fly it. We’ve been bogged down by so many things. It’s been very windy and cool lately. I think we should go kite-flying this week.